Seeing and Believing

“You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way.”
Tracy Chapman

I love that song. That’s exactly what I wanted from a relationship. I wanted him to take me away, to rescue me. He should be my Prince Charming, on a white horse, throwing stones at my window at night just to tell me I love you and I am going to get you out of here, just let down your hair.

Fairy tales are so cute. Beautiful, but oh so manipulative.

It took me a long while to understand that there will be no man that could save me, only I can. If I put my trust into someone else to free me, to solve all my problems, I will end up feeling hurt and disappointed. My partner just wants to live his life without feeling urged to carry my burdens. Don’t we all have the right to live as we want to? I m not saying a partner shouldn’t do that, but not if it is not his/ her free will. There are no rules to what a partner has to do, than to love you.

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We see what others have. We see pictures of happy couples, happy families. We see movies with perfect relationships, perfect romances. We can picture ourselves in it. We want that to be ours. The moment we have it, it feels different though. Not like we pictured it. Not like in the movies, but why? Simply, because we expect things that look good on others to look good on us, too. That’s a Fashion Dilemma.

Kids, for example, they are smarter than we adults think they actually are. They have a closer connection to life and happiness. If a child sees an other child having fun with any toy , it wants it immediately because it thinks it will make him happier and feel the same sort of joy, the other kid felt. The Kid takes it from the other child, but somehow it doesn’t feel the same joy. That doesn’t makes sense at first, but the kid is smart because it is not holding on to it, and let’s it go. Why hold on to something that doesn’t make you happy? Uncertainty!

 

The desire for happiness is our biggest dream, we yet don’t dare to chase, neither to live it. We don’t listen to the voice of our heart, instead we try to block it with the voices in our head. A dear friend of mine said we are blinded by what we see, and seeing is believing. But happiness is what you feel and we should learn to believe in what we feel.

Jam Coke

 

 


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